“And a month after this, James Blouis, our landlord’s son was attending High School, and was very fond of grandmother, so she asked him to give me a few lessons, which he did until the middle of 1861, when the Savannah Volunteer Guards, to which he and his brother belonged, were ordered to the front under General Barton.” —Susie King Taylor

A memory: at the beginning of one of my shifts at the rehabilitation and long-term care facility, the day receptionist, who was also my supervisor, told me a family member of one of the residents complained that I had been reading a book. So, because of that complaint, she said I shouldn’t really do that. She was really nice about it, but I was shook. I probably said okay, and apologized. But…ultimately, what I needed to know was, was I in trouble, with my job?

I had never been in trouble at any job before. What did it mean to get in trouble at this place? What would happen?

What did I look like to the person who complained that I was reading a book that they wanted to put a stop to it?

Realizations

At some point, maybe even later that same day, I reflected on this new predicament I found myself in. In my reflection, I went through the numbers. No one had ever expressed any displeasure with me. Ever. And I knew that because I was then and am now, an extravert. An extra-extravert. Being the friendly face of the facility was something I was very good at. I greeted everyone who came through the front door, some people even stopped and chatted with me. I answered the phone whenever it rang with such a pleasant, high-pitched voice of greeting. I talked with the residents when they came to the lobby if they wanted to talk. I completed all of the filing that needed to be accomplished. Yes, filing…paper filing, rolex cards that were filled out…in pencil that needed to be put back…in a rolodex. I knew I was doing a good job and this complaint was hurtful and stressful.

Rule Following was my jam

By this point in my young life, I was a trained rule follower and semi-professional people pleaser. But more than people-pleasing, first and foremost I was a rule follower. Getting “in trouble” was anathema to my survival tactics I had adopted and activated in my life. So I tried to comply. I tried.

But, I was so understimulated, and had so much studying to do… it took me not very long at all to break this new rule. Was this a rule or a request? Within the first 4-hour shift where I was told to “stay busy” and not read …I was writing a little…then I was reading a little. Then I was doing my work because I could not throw away precious hours of studying.

Being complained about wasn’t on my radar of something that could happen to me, because I was doing a good job. Honestly, the way my life was unfurling, I didn’t really know people complained about other people doing their job.

I was friendly and helpful and agreeable. Complaining to a supervisor about someone who is sitting quietly and had probably just said hello to you had never occurred to me before as something that could happen. That someone would find a supervisor and complain about reading…quietly, after being greeted with warmth by that same person.

No one ever complained about me reading again—well, nothing that was brought to my attention. I kept reading and writing and studying.

What happened to the day receptionist

And, fun story, the day receptionist put in her notice because she and the man she had met on Craig’s List were going to get married. It was very hush hush according to the day receptionist who told me all about it. Meeting someone and falling in love with someone through a Craig’s List connection was very taboo for many. He lived in California and she was moving there to be with him. Her family was not happy with her decision, because according to them she was moving to California to throw her life away right before she was murdered. She would throw her life away first, and then she would be murdered. She told me the situation with her family was a bit dramatic. I wished her well. I would move for love one day, I didn’t know it yet.